Follow by Email

Friday, September 9, 2011

Zombie Apocalypse Time 4

Zat 4
You follow your new friend/rescuer/possible future romantic partner (but maybe not because theres something about her that tells you she swings the other way which I guess is great if the reader swings that way herself,excuse me, back to the story)

It turns out that she is supposedly part of a band of survivors. I say supposedly because you havent actually seen them yet.

Supposedly they've set up camp inside of a mall. The nearest mall is about a mile away on 11th and L. But this is a completely different kind of mall. Its an open mall so don't think you know where this is going.

So you two take to the streets. Its surprisingly deserted.

After you guys have been walking and talking for about ten minutes you realize something. You still don't know her name. So you wonder if you should ask, or maybe continue in that awkward way of addressing someone with whom you've been talking for the last hour about everything in the entire multiverse but for some reason feel too embarrased to suddenly stop the conversation and ask their name, so you call them"hey uuhm...", or do you give her a nick name, or do you do the more forward thing and just ask her name?



So you ask"hey uuhm...do you think you might have an extra weapon?"

She replies"I do not know if you can handle the weapons I have. I don't want you to accidentally kill yourself." She glances at you for a second. Uhn hun, definitely not interested in you in that way.

Maybe you feel a little offended by that statement. I mean you have clocked several weeks on cod right. I'm not the only one am I? Or maybe you have not.

So you say something like"What, I'm just supposed to go around completely defenseless.?"

You hear and see a car coming toward you. Some old beat up '70s "classic" because thats what it always is.

She shouts at you"Stay close to me!"

Now you guys must wait till the last second to decide to jump left or jump right.

Here it is!1!!



To be continued... つづく。。。



You say"So, gunslinger girl, I need a weapon and you seem to have a lot."

She says"hm? Were you talking to me? My names not "gunslinger girl". Are you trying to catch a copyright case. My name is--"

You hear and see a car circa '75 hurtling towards you. It just turned the corner about a block away.

She shouts at you"Stay close to me!"

She's just stands there.

You"WHATAREYOUDOING!"

Here it comes!



To be continued... つづく



You say"Hey by the way my name is«insert your (embarrasing, my mom wanted to get more in touch with her creative side) name here»"

She replies"oh"

Brief awkward silence....
You say" So aren't you gonna tell me yours?"

She replies"you assume too much"

You say"thats kinda rude"

You hear and see a car coming toward you. Some old beat up '70s "classic" because thats what it always is.

She shouts at you"Stay close to me!"

Now you guys must wait till the last second to decide to jump left or jump right.

Here it is!1!!



To be continued... つづく。。。

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Zombie Apocalypse Time 3e

Zombie apocalypse time 3e

You slow your jogging and stop. Egahd...how can someone walk so fast!? Huff, puff.

Someone taps on your shoulder and says" monsieur dumass?"

French!?

You slowly turn around trying visualize a random french guy. Or maybe its a creole from the french quarter or maybe even a canadian?

No, its a zombie. I mean your swift demise.

Zombie Apocalypse Time 3d

Zat 3d
You start running to keep up. Into the sunset you guys run--well you run and she walks really fast...wait wasnt it just day time? Well, this is a movie.

To be continued...
つづく

Zombie Apocalypse Time 3c

Zombie apocalypse time 3c
You cough up a word"wa-ait!"

The gun slinger replies"oh. You speak english." Her voice is rough but you can tell its a woman.

You"ofcourse I speak english. Isnt this America?"
You both look at the camera. Hopefully the audience gets it.

She"No, you don't understand. Zombies don't speak english."

You"of course they dont. I mean unless 'uuugh ugh' actually means something."

She"Thats only in the movies. In real life they speak french."

You"oh is that so."

She"enough chit chat. Lets get the hell outa here." She turns around and starts walking really really fast.

You have a hard time keeping up with her.
You have two choices here.
1push your ass
2say forget it
Go to zat 3e

Zombie Apocalypse Time 3b

Zombie apocalypse time 3b
Im sorry monsieur dumass but your attempt to secure the gun has resulted in your swift demise.

Zombie Apocalypse Time

rom this point on zombie apocalypse time is a chews your own adventure type story.

Youre staring down the barrel.
Your kneck and shoulders tense up.
You have two choices.

1 try to be jet li and ninja the gun out of the persons hand.
Go to zombie apocalypse time 3b

2 try to reason with them.
Go to zombie apocalypse time 3c

Zombie Apocalypse Time 3

From this point on zombie
apocalypse time is a chews your own adventure type story.

Youre staring down the barrel.
Your kneck and shoulders tense up.
You have two choices.
1 try to be jet li and ninja the gun out of the persons hand.
Go to zombie apocalypse time 3b
2 try to reason with them. Go to zombie apocalypse time 3c

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Zombie Apocalypse Time 2


To get to the entrance you have to run back the other way through the parking lot, turn left and turn left run under the stairs and youre at the nearest door. But first you gotta take care of the mother fucking zombies in this mother fucking apartment complex.

You turn left and see sinbad(if youve wondered where hes been you just found out.) You tell him one of his own crappy jokes and he dies...again. You run past him.

You make the first left.

Splat. Right in front of you a body starts getting up after having just fallen from the sky. You recognize the uniform it wears(you also notice a very prominent bosom) and realizes its the maintenance guy(he really went through with it!?). And then you remember that someone said something about a bad smell coming from a vent. You see the maintenance man holding a zombie bird in his hand.

He starts coming after you with the full confidence of someone that has turned others. You wack him in the face with the plundger causing him to stumble and drop the bird. Oh schieza. The bird screeches and comes at you. You swing, it dodges. It lundges, you duck. The maintenance man regains his balance.

Bang bang. Two shot fired and the zombies fall.

But the gun is now aimed at you...

To be continued...
つずく。。。

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Zombie Apocalypse Time

Zombie apocalypse time
Its that time of the month. You wake up and your girlfriend wants to eat you...but this time shes a zombie. So what do you do?

Distract her with your morning breathe. This gives you approximately 2.3 seconds to run out the door and shut it. She'll be in there for a few minutes rethinking her relationship with you.

Guess what now. Your roomate sees you(hes a zombie) he quickly finishes his bowl of honeynut chex(no, I wasn't paid) takes it to the kitchen, washes it(you thought he'd change now?)and saunters toward you. Behind you is the bathroom. Temporary solution I know. But maybe theres weapons.

So whats in there? Toilet shower and sink. Forgetting something...oh yeah you quickly pull out your oral b toothbrush and crest complete toothpaste( I wasn't paid). Gotta make sure the breathe is minty fresh in case you have to save a hot chick.

Back to the matter at hand. Need weapons and need to get out of here some how. The zombies in the house are banging on the door. You decide to take the plunger and the floss(its about time its been put to use). You look out the bathroom window and a smell wafts up and slaps you in the face. The apartment dumpster is right below the window two floors down(a fact your girlfriend has complained about on numerous occasions)

An arm busts through the door. Sh!t. Gotta jump.

To be continued...
つずく。。。